Yami and Bakura VS Yami's Cell Phone
by Gabriel's Demonic Angel
Summary: Yugi buys Yami a cell phone, but when Yami trys to call Yugi on it things don't go well from there. Ryou and Bakura are there to help along in the mayhem. OOCness, maybe. Hilarity. Enjoy. R&R. Rated T for Language and Violence.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot. Well, whatever plot there is in this story. If you find it please tell me. I'd like to know what the plot is. Please and thank you.

Yami and Bakura vs. Yami's Cell phone

Yami looked at the piece of metal his hikari handed him. What the hell was he supposed to do with something so tiny?

"Yugi, are you sure you should give me this...device?" Yami questioned looking suspiciously at the contraption.

"Yes. It's so when we're out we can contact each other without the link." Yugi stated with a smile. (Awe! Kawaii!)

"Moshi, moshi?" Yami asked into the receiver uncertainly.

"Yes, hello?" questioned a male voice in what Yami recognized as English.

"Uh...yes hello. Uh...is Yugi there?" Yami questioned, wondering why his Hikari was anywhere NEAR an English speaking male and why he was answering, what he assumed was, Yugi's cell phone.

"Who is this? Is that a type of drug or something? This better not be a call to order any of this 'Yugi' stuff and sell it on American soil." The male questioned/ranted.

"WHAT? Yugi isn't a drug! He's my Hikari! My Aibou would NEVER be a drug! He maybe addicting, but he's NOT a drug!" Yami yelled.

"Pharaoh, haven't you called the midget yet?" Bakura questioned walking into the room.

"No. Some English guy answered and thinks Yugi's a drug." Yami replied.

"Here let me." Bakura said grabbing the cell phone from Yami. "Listen, mortal, put the midget on or else be sentenced to the Shadow Realm, understand?"

"How dare you think you can sell your drugs here with threats and more drugs!?" The male yelled, indignantly.

"Yami, who's Bakura talking to?" Ryou questioned coming to find the ancient spirits who seemed to be taking forever in calling Yugi.

"I don't know, but I'm going to Mind Crush his ass if he doesn't put Aibou on that contraption soon." Yami stated glaring at said contraption.

Ryou quickly grabbed the phone as Bakura looked ready to send it straight to the Shadow Realm for not doing as he ordered of it.

"Uh...Hello. I was wondering if Yugi was available to speak." He spoke into the receiver.

"WHAT?! There's no 'YUGI' here! Why would we have your drugs?!" The male yelled pissed.

"Uh...who is this?" Ryou questioned.

"The president of the USA! And YOU are?!" the president questioned angrily.

"Uh..."Ryou froze as he realized who they had just offended and probably confused.

Yami grabbed the phone. "LOOK, just put Aibou on. NOW!" He said.

"How did you get this number, you drug dealer?! And for the last time, we DO NOT have ANY of your drugs or drug dealers here!!" the president questioned, yelled infuriated.

"DRUG DEALER! How dare you?! I'm Egyptian!" Yami ranted pissed. "Mind Crush!" he yelled at the phone.

The phone soon started to spark. Soon they heard the male loudly announce: "Assemble the Military! We're invading Egypt!"

"How dare you!? Shadow Realm!" Yami yelled sending the phone into the Shadow Realm.

Soon, however, the 'evil contraption of doom', as Yami had so "kindly" named it, hit him in the head. Marik soon poked his head out of the portal the phone came from.

"What are you doing throwing your cell phone at me, baka pharaoh?! They're not for throwing, they're for calling people!!" Marik yelled and then went back to the Shadow Realm, the portal closing behind him.

"What do you mean they don't know what a Yugi is?! Their the ones selling it! Stupid Egyptian bastards!" A voice ranted from the floor near Bakura's feet.

"HEY! YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU BAKA YAROU!!" Bakura yelled at the destroyed piece of machinery.

"What do you mean the Congress won't pass a war proclamation against Egypt?! They're trying to sell drugs to Americans! They MUST be stopped!!" The voice proclaimed.

Bakura growled at supposedly being ignored by the idiot who wanted to attack his home country.

"Fuck the Shadow Realm! You just earned a one-way ticket to HELL, Mother fucker!" He yelled at the phone.

Ryou sighed. 'No more late night movies for him.'

Yami smirked in satisfaction as Bakura promptly stomped on the contraption. It made a beep sound, so he started to jump on the damn thing. He snorted at the contraption at his feet once he was satisfied with it's destruction. He growled again when it seemed to be ringing, just to mock him. He growled louder when it got louder.

"Fine! Take this, Dickwadd." He replied, picking the remains of the phone up.

He walked over to the sink and looked down to make sure there was a garbage disposal. He smirked when he seen it, and then let all the remains fall into the sink, turned on the water, and then flicked on the garbage disposal. He laughed maniacally until he heard popping sounds coming from the sink. He looked down and saw sparks coming out of the sink and smoke. He turned off the disposal and then the water to look at the damage.

"Oops. Uh...good luck with getting a new disposal, baka pharaoh." He stated before leaving the house, whistling.

Yami and Ryou looked over at the smoking disposal and then looked at each other.

"Uh oh." Before they both bolted out of the game shop, wanting to get out of there before Yugi or Grandpa got back. Before Ryou left, he QUICKLY jotted a note to Yugi about the disposal.

Note

Yugi,

Sorry about the disposal. Bakura got angry at Yami's cell. Gomen.

Ryou.

Yugi came home several hours later from the store looking for his yami. He went into the kitchen to put away the groceries. As he went to put the milk away, a note on the refrigerator door that hadn't been there before had caught his eye. He read it while sticking the milk in the fridge.

"Huh?" Yugi muttered, going towards the sink.

He looked down at the disposal. He didn't think it was supposed to look as it did.

'What happened here? Oh well, I'll deal with it later.' he thought with a sigh.

After putting away the rest of the groceries away, he walked into the living room and turned on the TV before sitting down in the recliner.

"…And in recent news, the President of the United States has declared war on Egypt." the newscaster stated.

"Huh? Why would they do that?" he asked no one.

"It seems as though Egypt has been selling a new drug known as Yugi to the American People. In other news…"

"WHAT?!" Yugi yelled.

A.N.: Hope you enjoyed the story. R&R please and thank you.

These are words that I have heard. I hope they're the right meaning.

Kawaii means cute.

Moshi Moshi is a greeting on the phone.

Gomen means sorry.

Hikari means light.

Aibou means partner.

Baka means stupid, idiot, etc...

Yarou means bastard.

There you are, that's the end. Hope you liked it. Oh, please don't flame me. All flames will be used cook my hotdogs in Hell.


End file.
